President Strawbama – Right Wing ‘Hay Job’

by brian boru 

Do conservatives want to run against the real Barack Obama? Hell no. He’s an Eisenhower Republican for Christ’s sake.

Most people in America happen to think they’re Eisenhower Republicans, too. Sure plenty of them don’t know an Eisenhower from a Heineken – but if there’s one thing they do know, it’s that they’re centrists. Just like Ike.

There was a day when this humble writer and many readers of this humble blog used to vote for Republicans – that’s right, when there was such a thing as an Eisenhower Republican.

You may remember them – Republicans who believed in things like evolution, science and the social safety net. Republicans who touted the EPA and the Department of Education. A few of those poor, pragmatist bastards even managed to make it into the 90′s. Seems like a hundred years ago, doesn’t it? A brutal national teabagging does tend to fuck with the time space continuum.

The baggers who have hijacked the Republican Party and the pusillanimous mongrels who let them do it – the John Boehner types – do not want the American public to know that Barack Obama is more like Eisenhower than they are or that Obama’s policies are more conservative than those of the trust-busting, environmentalist, Teddy Roosevelt. You see, the president would win a landslide re-election if Joe Blow Centrist knew all that.

What then are baggers to do about Obama’s centrist policies?  Hurry up and invent policy positions that do not exist – then scream like  sissies proclaiming the coming death of America. That’s sure to scare the hell outta of Joe Blow. And, if you scare him, you got him.

In hoity-toity debate halls, inventing an opponent’s position so as to easily deconstruct it is known as the straw man technique:

straw man is a component of an argument and is an informal fallacy based on misrepresentation of an opponent’s position. To “attack a straw man” is to create the illusion of having refuted a proposition by replacing it with a superficially similar yet nonequivalent proposition (the ‘straw man’), and refuting it, without ever having actually refuted the original position.

That’s a lot of verbiage to say that a straw man argument is bullshit. And, boy, how bullshitters love the straw man.

Conservative bullshitters work like this:

Position: President Obama does not endorse the use of torture to elicit information from detainees.

Conservative straw man: Barack Hussein Obama is a Muslim who is losing the ‘war on terror’!

The straw man argument is last refuge of a forensic scoundrel. A desperate opponent, lacking the facts or temperament to make a persuasive case. You know – wingnuts. Now, the political landscape is replete with scoundrels who are a little too lazy for facts and too damn crazy for temperament. But, there is only one party that truly celebrates lazy and crazy. They have kids like Sarah, Michelle, Karl and Sean that play all day in the fact free zone – dropping atomic wedgies on hapless, unsuspecting Democrats.

It’s no real surprise that Republicans make up shit about policy positions – death panels, socialist takeovers, sharia law. That’s standard operating procedure. They’ve been doing it for so long and with such gusto that the mainstream media doesn’t even report the lies anymore – who can be bothered.

But, the GOP is taking the old straw man for a 2012 makeover.  Forget making up phony policy positions to rail against.  Why not just invent an entire politician to run against?  Not just partially invent him either, a full makeover – ersatz baby!

For the first time in modern American history an opposition party has created, out of thin air, a president who does not exist. The straw man personified – the dastardly President Barack Hussein Strawbama!

This Strawbama is one real contorted son of a bitch.

A media darling with a Messiah complex who can’t speak without a teleprompter. A leftist, Nazi dictator who’s going to take away your guns and your plastic Jesus. A Kenyan, Muslim, anti-colonialist, Indonesian, madras-educated radical. An anti-American defeatist who runs around the world apologizing for America. A “gut the military” lib, weak on defense. A tax and spend, anti-business Keynesian, blowing up the deficit. A nationalize the banks and car industry socialist. A tree-hugging, sandal wearing, lead from behind, community organizing hippie.

Whew! Now, that doesn’t sound like our beloved Ike.

Hell no, and it doesn’t sound anything like President Obama, either.

You see, there are these pesky little things called facts that the Strawbama mythologists don’t want the public to know about.

Things like:

Obama’s media coverage during the 2008 general election campaign was determined to be more negative than McCain’s: http://articles.latimes.com/2008/jul/27/nation/na-onthemedia27 . That negative coverage has only gotten worse as a recent Pew study indicates: http://thegrio.com/2012/04/24/study-shows-obama-received-more-negative-media-coverage-than-republicans/ . Some media darling!

Teleprompter, please. A complete fiction. Obama is a policy wonk who’s command of the issues is penetrating. He wiped the floor with Republicans during their own retreat and then again during the health care summit. Check out this one hour smack down (Video): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5vOMIN673A . Next time the baggers invite the president, they’ll be begging for a teleprompter.

Gun rights have been expanded during the Obama administration:http://www.blueridgenow.com/article/20100224/NEWS/100229892

Obama is a Christian (Video): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzQMsC_4q2w

Obama is an American (See pic). 

Obama believes in American exceptionalism. The first stop on Obama’s “apology tour” was Cairo where he extolled American democracy and warned Arab governments to open up their political systems. No apologies, just the facts (Video): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaxZPiiKyMw . Mubarak and Gaddafi might’ve paid a little more attention.

Obama is pro military and has increased military spending (Video):http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UobVyHVamg . ‘Gut’ this, Dana.

Obama has lowered taxes and has reined in deficit spending:



The Recovery Act worked (Video): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJoE0ZJ7Rn8&feature=uploademail

Auto industry loans worked: http://www.mcclatchydc.com/2011/12/20/133694/us-auto-industry-shuts-door-on.html . We didn’t even have to ‘socialize’ GM, did we? And, they’re paying the loans back!

Just a couple of other tidbits:

  • The stock market has doubled since the Bush crater.
  • Corporate profits are at record levels.
  • Obama had, for all or most of his first three years, a Republican treasury secretary, a Republican defense secretary, a Republican FBI chief and a Republican transportation secretary. Some lefty.
  • On the environment and Wall Street, Obama’s no TR – sadly.

Facts have a well known liberal bias so Sarah and friends make a point to stay the hell away from them. Why not? Nobody in the punditry seems to know the difference. The mainstream media just loves ‘em a good straw man. It makes for a great fight – reality be damned.

Is it any wonder Joe Blow doesn’t know what the hell to believe?


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